One thing is clear: The Lord delights in revealing Himself to you, especially your wrong thinking. Just when you think you know a lot, you realize you don't know very much at all.
The topic of the retreat was Ruler of My Heart. The speaker was Margaret Ashmore (above) from Denton Bible Church in Texas (pastored by Tommy Nelson) and she spoke about PRIDE through the CONTROL we have in our hearts that belongs to God. We often try to control through either lust (obtaining and wanting things--material things, status, personal goals....or that one other thing you think you need to make your life complete. You stop at nothing to get it) and control through fear of rejection or withdrawal of love (manipulating situations, your friends, your spouse, through anger or the silent treatment) so that we don't get hurt. Instead of feeling joy, abundance and contentment, our burden to control fails---- and we are left with a sinking depression. The kind that robs us of what Christ came to do in our lives. Than the inevitable happens: other people look at Christians and they see how defeated we are and who would want to live a life like that? A bunch of victory-less hypocrites. So the question you are left with is who is the ruler of your heart? Who is in control? And if it's not God, what things do you have to relinquish?
It was so powerful and so impacting. I desire to live a life of freedom and humility---not a life burdened by fear and control, which ultimately is rooted in pride. I am grateful for the things I'm learning so I can have a better marriage and can be a better example to my little guys. This is changing lives.
As an aside, I am totally impressed by the women of Reston Bible. Many of them are exactly who I aspire to be. I feel so grateful to have met them!
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