My Radical Patrick

We celebrated our 7th anniversary last week. As my friend Karen pointed out, seven is a complete number and that's what we feel like our marriage has become. Rather than tell you the story of what we did on our day, I want to tell you about Patrick, because he is worthy of the story to tell.

Patrick is one of those men who gets a lot of flack by his friends because he says things with authority, has incredible discipline, clear ideas, and says pretty RADICAL things. And what he says stems from what he believes. You should know this: Patrick believes the Word of God. Not some of it, but ALL of it. And more importantly, he lives it out. And our marriage has greatly benefited!

1) He was adamant that if we purchase a home, we would do it on HIS income.  As the bible teaches, the husband's role is provider and leader for the family. For me this was hard---fighting the desire to have my dream single family home on our well-paying joint income was heart-wrenching, but he firmly said we would live in a town home. I can't tell you to this day what a relief it is not to worry about how we're going to pay for a house if I don't work. Thank you God!

2) After we first married, he said our debt (my debt) was not honoring to God. So while it was incredibly painful, we ate Ramen noodles for dinner and never vacationed for two years. Every paycheck, in almost its entirety went to the mortgage and then to my debt. We went from -$23,000 in the hole, to exceeding that, in the positive. Only God can honor this! Now, Patrick helps others through the Crown Ministry to get financially free.

3) Patrick was convicted about what the bible said was the role of wife.  Now before the legalists here get in an uproar----the Lord kept showing him passages and overwhelming evidence that the wife's main work was always around the home.  Because work was often stressful and took away from the focus of time from our marriage, after a lot of prayer----radically----he asked me to stop working (although our plan had been to do that after we had children). I had a high-level job, and it was difficult to let this go, but the Lord laid it on my heart too---His truth---and I quit. This decision went against our culture (my family didn't understand it, they thought it was lazy that I wasn't earning) but once we did this, the stress in my life was gone.  LIKE GONE GONE. The biblical roles of manhood and womanhood became really clear as I devoted myself to our home, to him, and it improved our marriage and my health.   I was also able to use my time at home to give and serve others in need in our community.

4) Patrick believed what the bible said about food.  If you knew his heart, it's not about what is permissible (we are free) but what is permissible is not always beneficial.  After struggling with YEARS of painful infertility, after I changed my diet, WE GOT PREGNANT!!!! Definitely don't think that was a coincidence. Radically, Patrick would challenge me and others about the way we eat. Through some revelation in the Maker's Diet, each time I went on a 40-day cleansing and ate foods, that those in the bible did (not processed, gluten free, whole foods), even against the odds of our infertility issues, I would get pregnant. It was that black and white. Everyone jokes about how he says sugar kills, but what they miss out on is that clean eating the way God designed it, benefits your life. 

5) You see, Patrick studies God's word, and doesn't selectively choose to follow parts of it, but all of it ---including God's biblical design for husbands and wives.  Satan is clearly taking over marriages and family right now.  As a result of the Fall of creation, when the Serpent specifically targeted Eve, thereby sabotaging and reversing God's order (right?--- he could have spoken man to man with Adam), he would say we as men have to work to reverse the order and become the husbands that our wives can respect.  Seeing how like Adam, he was passive and how like Eve, I often usurped authority....Well, it's safe to say after 7 complete years, my husband has reversed the order of the fall. God has literally turned our marriage right side up.  That's HUGE. We can celebrate this today.

6) Lastly, he believes one of his key responsibilities is teaching his children. Yes, it's me who stays at home and I'm all about teachable moments, but Patrick resolved, as the Israelite fathers did, to be the primary educator of the children while they are very young. The Sunday school and CBS teachers would always tell me that Micah would raise his hand every time and already knew the answers to all the bible stories. They would praise me, and say whatever you are doing at home, it's working. Well, every night, this husband of mine, after a full day's work, would spend over an hour with Micah teaching him the Word, memorizing scripture, and reading books to the boys every night.

I did say these were radical ideas. Patrick would say it's not really radical. The bible hasn't changed, it's the world that's turned upside down.

So for me, it's easy to respect Patrick because he's never a couch-potato, pick-up-your-clothes-off the-floor husband, he is a man that is disciplined and steady. He's not the corporately ambitious, grandiose-ideas, change-the-world kind of guy -- but in God's order, he's faithful with small things. He provides, protects, and leads our family. He stands up and fights against what is counter-culture, and living a life that's filled with faith and action. He is a man of honor, and of integrity. I celebrate our marriage today because of His faithfulness to God. One day, God will say to Patrick, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I believe that's pretty complete.