Homeschool, Private or Public?

One of the toughest decisions we've had to face as parents is where we are going to decide to send our kids to school. For some, this choice is easy because the options are limited by either funding or time and availability of parents.  We feel blessed to have options--but wow, I am really starting to hate choices!

The deadline is February 1 for two of our top contender private schools.  Agghhh!  What then shall we do?

Patrick and I have been sort of putting it on a shelf.  Not because we don't want to think about it, but because we have all the information we need, and yet, up until the last minute -- we still haven't absolutely, resolutely, rest-assuredly, decided on any one answer.  It's a tough call because there are pro's and con's to each option.

Time is running out. 

In our quest for answers, we came up with more questions.  However, there were some absolute truths, to us, that became pretty evident.  We realized that no matter what option you choose:

Truth #1.  You will still need to be invested and highly involved in your children's education.  You are STILL discipling.  It will still be time-intensive. That means that in public school, you still are teaching life lessons the moment they get home up until you walk them to the bus stop the next morning.  And Christian parents who think that they can outsource their kid's christian education to an expensive private school, think again.  The buck does not stop within those walls.

Truth #2.  None of the options are bad.  Praise God that we have many choices.  The perspective is a little different when you're focusing on making the wrong choice (what if I ruin their lives??)---but instead think about how many great choices you DO have.  Yes, if money were not an issue, private school is a no-brainer, but since it is--- is sending Micah to public kindergarten in one of the best counties in the entire United States going to be that bad?  And if I had to be with my children, teaching them at home---again perspective--it's nice that I get to, versus I have to.

Truth #3. You can change at any time.  One of the pressures I face because I'm so black-and-white and I often want to begin things with the end in mind---is that things may change. It's OKAY (say it again, Soryda, it's OKAY) if we put our child in private school and it's not working, he can come home or he can go from public to private.  It's easy to think that if Micah isn't thriving, hates it and wants to do something different, we have no problem changing our course.  But, one of my fears is that Micah will be thriving in public school and then he'll meet all these friends and then there will be a reason for us to pull him out because the government is mandating X, that is against our beliefs.  When Patrick and I really sat down to talk about what those things were, we realized that 1) if the issues were that intolerable, than we would manage a way for Micah to still keep in touch with his friends and that having him exposed to X is a lot worse than not seeing his friends everyday and 2) if they weren't that intolerable, the course of action is to teach our children God's ways as a good filter, that they can respect differences without judging, but with grace, be in the world and not of it.

We can also say we ruled out that any one option is going to give you a far stellar better education than the other.  If you're invested as a parent, they'll get a great education.  We also ruled out that with peer pressure and bullying, and a lot of the controversial family life issues ---none of the options protect them.  Even the homeschooling networks aren't a guarantee.  And teachers--- you may think you are the best one who could teach them, but from my homeschooling experience, I can clearly say I am not.  And it's a toss up at a private or public school, whether you will get a great teacher that you like.  Then what?

Well, the real factor---- I'm not going to fool you---is money.  Can we afford private education? We decided we can send Micah, no problem.  Possibly squeeze in Caelan with less vacations a year.  But with Tristan---we will be in the poor house.  Impossible.  It's about $30,000 a year by the time all three are in, and that's just tuition.  We weren't so compelled in our calling for private school, that I would work again, just the time and energy levels it will take away from my family, to gain income for just this.

So, drum roll please...................our front runner right now is public school.  It's Loudoun County.  It's half-day kindergarten, and it's FREE!

And one might say that if the Lord wants your child in private school, He will provide for you. I think that's true, but I also believe He's not that concerned about which choice, but He's concerned in the journey of utter reliance and dependence on Him.  Which brings me to my last and final point.  At the turning point of our decision, I had a great conversation with a Pastor's wife (who also homeschools with me our preschoolers) and she sends her older kids to public school.  She said that this quite possibly would be her only opportunity to be a light to others.  She never would have had these opportunities if she weren't there twice a day at the bus stop.  Her kids know all the kids in the neighborhood because of the bus stop, and they are building friendships.  She's built a network of local moms she's ministering to, as well as her kids!  She said she was pretty much in a Christian bubble and when was that ever a good thing?  That resonated with me.  Unfortunately, I relate. The timing of this conversation couldn't have been more perfect.

Am I fully convinced that this is the right choice? No.  But when I weigh all the factors, this is still a good choice.  Am I afraid anymore of sending my kids to public school?  Nope.  None of my decisions are fear-based anymore.  We have peace.  Finally!